Comedy & Marketing Copywriter
JOKES
All jokes for TBS, NBC Universal and various radio programs were written for the comedywire agency, then licensed for use by the aforementioned clients.
Conan
"Trump Vocabulary"
"Star Wars Memorabilia"
"Malaysian Airport"
"Wisconsin Meth"
Late Night with Seth Meyers
"Non-fat Vanilla Latte"
"Steve's Disease"
SNL
"Chicken Sandwich"
The Hard Times
"The Onion of punk rock." -NPR
I wrote under the pen name Teri Donahugh to avoid the wrath of my corporate employers.
HILO, Hawaii — Active volcano Mauna Loa retracted its strict “virgins only” policy last week and is now open to accepting sacrifices of people who…
Full Compass (Pro Audio & Video Distributor)
Weekly Facebook Joke
Example of how comedy writing can be used in a brand's marketing.
Additional Jokes
Licensed through comedywire but may not have made it to air.
Wildlife expert Chris Packham says ants and wasps are important to our ecosystem, and we shouldn't kill or disturb them when they come into our home...
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At least I think that's what he was saying. He was hard to understand because his face had swelled up from all the wasp stings and ant bites.
Conan
During a tournament today, a pro golfer stripped down to his underwear to save a baby bird...
Tiger Woods did the same thing once to save a Denny's waitress.
NBC Universal
KRAFT IS AUCTIONING CHEESE SCULPTURES OF 'CHEESY' DADS FOR FATHER'S DAY...
THIS IS BETTER. THE ICE SCULPTURE WE MADE OF MOM WAS A LITTLE TOO ON-THE-NOSE.
Phil Parker Radio Show
After a tattoo artist misspelled her son's name, a New Jersey mom changed her son's name to match...
That's why I always check the diplomas on the walls of my tattoo artist's office to make sure they are from reputable schools.
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NBC Universal
Norway is going to spend a billion dollars to make bike highways...
Having to bike at 65 mph is going to be a real bitch.
comedywire
A luxury designer is selling a clear plastic shopping bag for $590...
It's called the douche bag.
NBC Universal
A New Jersey man bought a gas station, and he's turning it into his home... That's going to suck having to buy something every time he wants to use the bathroom.
NBC Universal
Scientists have discovered a disgusting truth about rubber duckies... They're all addicted to quack.
Phil Parker Radio Show
A New Jersey clown was arrested on a DUI... Why didn't he just change places with one of the other 27 people in the car?
NBC Universal
Six people were injured in a hot air balloon crash... They were hurt very slowly.
Dave Ryan Radio Show
An iPhone battery exploded in an Apple Store today, injuring seven people... Emergency services quickly responded to the 3 that had Apple Care.
NBC Universal
A plane was forced to make an emergency landing after a passenger refused to stop farting... As a result the TSA has announced they're adding finger pulling to pre-flight screening.
Conan
PETA is criticizing Justin Bieber for posing in a photo with a chained tiger...
I think they should be criticizing the tiger.
comedywire
A UK business man paid $20 million for a license plate. What a waste of money. Think of all the starving British children's teeth that could have fixed.
Conan
A 4-year-old was selected for jury duty, but got out so he could go to preschool... It's too bad for the defendant, as he was using the "I know you are but what am I?" defense.
Phil Parker Radio Show
Police thought a baggie of powder in the car during a DUI arrest was heroin, but it was Grandpa's ashes... You know, you can still snort a grandpa, you get super high but super racist.
NBC Universal
